The Smiths

Wendell and Rachel Smith began their journey of love on the Ottawa Campus twenty years ago and continue their relationship today at the same place their love began.

Rachel was a member of the Ottawa Cheer Squad and Wendell was a football player. They both knew of each other distantly, but didn’t really talk much until Rachel needed help one day.

“We first met by the mailboxes,” Wendell said. “Rachel needed help opening her mailbox; this was one of the first times I came to the rescue.”

After Wendell saved the day at the mailbox in September of 1993, the rest was pretty much history. They soon began dating on February 23, 1994 and then tied the knot three years later on July 12, 1997.

Wendell and Rachel have been in love for almost 20 years now. And that word “love” is something that is very treasured by the two of them.

“I feel like the word ‘love’ is used a lot more casually now a days,” Wendell said. “I don’t think a lot of society understands meaning, monogamous relationships anymore.”

Rachel began dating Wendell under the pretense that they were going to be spending the rest of their lives together.

“We actually got to know each other in a Bible study,” Rachel said. “We started learning about each other’s heart and spirit within us before we really moved forward in our relationship, which was then long-lasting.”

They were very clear with one another that if they did not feel their relationship was going to take them any further, that they would not continue it. They would be married under the circumstance of God’s plan for their lives together.

“Our love has certainly grown and changed over the years,” Rachel said. “It has become more of a deep, committed kind of love.”

To continue their deep love, Wendell and Rachel spoke about what they believe to be the key to a long, lasting marriage.

“I think communication is huge,” Wendell said. “I know the times when we might struggle, I tend to be introverted and not express some of the things I am thinking or feeling as good as I probably should. I know that it is important for us to be on the same page.”

Wendell tries to be more intentional about how he tries to communicate and when he tries to communicate. A shared faith is something they also found important and a huge factor to a healthy marriage.

“If we’re not in a Bible study or doing a devotional together, there are times when we can definitely feel or even see a gap or struggle more if we don’t put God at the center of our relationship,” Wendell said.

Wendell is the assistant football coach, and his job takes him out of town numerous times a month.

When he is out of town, he makes an effort to call Rachel to pray, or even do a short devotional over the phone to help keep them close.

The Smiths try as much as possible to “unplug” when they are at home; turn the TV off, turn off their cell phone, and just spend time together and with their children finding “there are times when you need to unplug from the world and just connect on each other.”

“We have to keep reminding ourselves to put God first,” Rachel said. “And then we put each other next, especially with our kids. We have to understand selflessness.”

Something that really drew them to one another when they first met was how easy it was to put God first and to help serve others and be devoted to one another as a couple.

The Smiths do not see divorce as an option. That is a strong part of their relationship. “It doesn’t mean we do not have our struggles, we’re not perfect,” Wendell said. “Marriage takes work and it takes commitment. We have to make sure that we make it work.”

Rachel believes that having fun and to continuing to dating each other is also an important key to a healthy marriage.

“Even if it’s just a moment in your home, be that person that we fell in love with,” Rachel said.

Both Wendell and Rachel’s parents were great models to them growing up. They both grew up in Christian homes and appreciated the Christian values that helped teach them what they should look for in a relationship.

They saw their parents fight for each other, which then taught them to fight for one another.

Being a part of a coaching family takes a lot of fight. A fight for time with the significant other, but also a time to support the significant other and the team they for which they are coaching.

Rachel and Wendell have kept the spark alive for the last 20 years, and will continue to do so. But, there are a few tricks they use to keep that spark burning so bright.

“We have to make days that are special,” Wendell said. “It is just important to make time for each other. Sometimes we don’t have a date night for a really long time, so that’s when we really have to work together and set aside some time where we can have uninterrupted time to talk to each other.”

For the Smiths, it is as simple as having lunch together every day. Although some days it does not work out, they have been blessed to work on the same campus and are able to drive home together, make a sandwich and head back to school. For them, even ten minutes together is precious.

Rachel believes love language and knowing what makes Wendell feel loved is also a key to keeping the spark alive. “It is so easy to get in the day to day humdrum,” Rachel said. “When he would get a sitter for the kids and then wisp me away it was like heaven.”

Wendell and Rachel had to figure out over the last 20 years what works best for each other and figure out what the other one needs to feel reenergized to help keep their relationship strong. They seem to be doing a great job, as their relationship is as strong as ever and will continue to grow over the years to come.