Common domestic violence myths

When we talk about domestic violence, like with every important issue in our society, there are a lot of stereotypes that fill out our minds.

Domestic violence is one of those topics which an important section of the public face with predisposition. The website Domesticviolence.com helps us pointing out some of these common myths and why they are wrong.

Myth #1: Domestic violence is not a problem in my community.

Michigan State Police records from 1997 show that a woman is killed by a partner or former partner about once a week in Michigan.

In 1998, the Michigan State Police reported more than 5,000 victims of domestic violence in Oakland County.

Myth #2: Domestic violence only happens to poor women and women of color.

Domestic violence happens in all kinds of families and relationships. Persons of any class, culture, religion, sexual orientation, marital status, age, and sex can be victims or perpetrators of domestic violence.

Myth#3: Domestic violence is a personal problem between a husband and a wife.

Domestic violence affects everyone. About 1 in 3 American women have been physically or sexually abused by a husband or boyfriend at some point in their lives. (Commonwealth Fund, Health Concerns Across a Woman’s Lifespan: the Commonwealth Fund 1998 Survey of Women’s Health, 1999)

In 1996, 30% of all female murder victims were killed by their husbands or boyfriends. (Federal Bureau of Investigation, 1997)

40% to 60% of men who abuse women also abuse children. (American Psychological Association, Violence and the Family, 1996)

Myth#4: Alcohol, drug abuse, stress, and mental illness cause domestic violence.

Alcohol use, drug use, and stress do not cause domestic violence; they may go along with domestic violence, but they do not cause the violence. Abusers often say they use these excuses for their violence. (Michigan Judicial Institute, Domestic Violence Benchbook, 1998, p. 1.6 - 1.7)

Generally, domestic violence happens when an abuser has learned and chooses to abuse. (Michigan Judicial Institute, Domestic Violence Benchbook, 1998, p. 1 - 5)

Domestic violence is rarely caused by mental illness, but it is often used as an excuse for domestic violence. (Michigan Judicial Institute, Domestic Violence Benchbook, 1998, p. 1 - 8)

Myth #5: Some people deserve to be hit.

No one deserves to be abused. Period. The only person responsible for the abuse is the abuser.

Physical violence, even among family members, is wrong and against the law.

Myth#6: If it were that bad, she would just leave.

There are many reasons why women may not leave. Not leaving does not mean that the situation is okay or that the victim wants to be abused.

The most dangerous time for a woman who is being abused is when she tries to leave. (United States Department of Justice, National Crime Victim Survey, 1995)