West: Faith isn’t always enough; doubts creep in

Most times when I am in church I usually sit in the pews that are located in the back of the church.

I sit and think about every statement, scripture, comparison, and analogy that the pastor says.

I try to focus, but I sometimes find myself distracted by the little old ladies that always sit next to one another wearing the huge Kentucky derby style hats.

This is a different distraction I am feeling this time around. This distraction that's occurring now is one caused by the disbelief I have 95 percent of the time.

Every time I am in a bad situation I am told to pray about or let go and let God.

That's hard to do especially for a person like me who feels as if 95 percent of the time prayer doesn't work no matter what the situation may be or how much you may pray up to the heavens. But for me that's complicated to do or come to terms with.

I start finding myself thinking that the teachings, writings, and works of God are similar to love. The reason I say

God is similar to love is because you can see neither God nor love but yet we all still seem to believe that they both exist.

The reason for this is probably because believing gives us all the hope that there might be a life or someplace better that we go after death. We believe because we want to think we all have some purpose here on Earth today.

We believe because it make us feel better about ourselves and give us a little hope that we only endure pain while living life.

If I didn't believe 95 percent of the time I would probably we a less sane person. I believe but like any other person I still have my fair share of confusion and doubts. It's hard coming to terms with it all. I guess there is no way to be absolute in this situation, until I die.

So until then, I will keep believing the 95 percent I have been believing because it makes me feel better.