Friendships drifting apart

Photo Illustration by Kylee Weber

We have all reached a point in our life where we believe our best friend is going to be by our side for the rest of our life. When we are children, we grow up with friends that give us lifelong memories, but how many of those friends do we still communicate with on a daily basis? We find our friendships begin to drift apart each year as we grow older. We begin with opening a finished chapter of our book: Childhood.

In our childhood, we have our best friends we eat lunch with, go to recess and play with; we invite them over for a sleepover and they’re who you plan a birthday party with. These friendships while we are young begin with laughter and arguments over which Barbie they want to play with. In elementary school, we claim that everyone is our friend and that everyone is going to be nice to us. This chapter in our life is significant because it's when we begin the friendship stage and where we learn what friendship is. At this age, we claim to have multiple friends and best friends that are there for us. We dub these friendships and relationships as our “childhood best friends,” which simply put, stop after we leave elementary school. 

The next chapter is middle school; obviously our childhood friendships get torn apart as people are moved into different districts and schools. Not all of our elementary school friends go to the same middle school and people from other middle schools do come to ours. Middle school is our first taste of freedom, we begin to find different friendships through the activities that we participate in, such as classes or intramurals. The few friendships that pass over into middle school either grow stronger or drift apart. If you are anything like me, the friendships that you had in elementary school faded very quickly due to the exciting new concept of popularity and the “cool group.” 

The next chapter, the most important chapter, is high school. High school is what raises hell for friendships. If your high school was anything like mine, you have two groups: the populars and non-populars. This is the point where if you had any friendships going into high school, most likely after the second month of school, those friendships have begun drifting apart. This is the stage in life that new and shiny things become more intriguing than quality friendships. High school brings parties, varsity athletes, relationships and drama. At this stage in our life it is where we reconnect to the childhood friendships and hold tight to them. We believe that everyone is our friend that all of our friends will be with us forever. This claim is more often than not false; after high school, people travel all over the world and begin a new stage of their lives; it’s the next chapter that gives people complete freedom and taste of adulthood. 

The final chapter is college. This is the stage where the phrase “quality over quantity” becomes significant. Most people in college tend to grow up after their first semester and find that being the popular kid is not as important as feeling loved. Over time, we find friends through similarities and activities that we spend a lot of time with. For example, I have a solid four friends that I know that I could go to for anything. For some, this may be disappointing to only have a few friends, but the quality that you have is far more important than the quantity. College is truly where you make your lifelong friends. You begin to find the people who will stand next to you at your wedding and be there for you when you have a baby shower. 

Friendship is a wonderful concept that we have learned throughout many chapters of our lives, but we still have several chapters to go through. For some, friendships do last a lifetime, and that is amazing, but it is rare. I have very few friends that have lasted from my childhood, through middle school and even high school. College has been a time where I found the quality friendships that I will remember for the rest of my life compared to that one girl who came to my birthday party when I was eight and I thought she was my best friend.