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How to shoot your shot

By Calvin Johnson
On November 1, 2019

Photo Illustration by Kylee Weber

Oh my goodness, oh my goodness, oh my goodness: That super hot guy/girl is right there. 

Should I say something? 

Maybe I should DM them on Instagram and say “i c u?” 

Maybe they will fall in love with me! 

Okay bro, you have to stop. You’re scaring me and if I’m scared, imagine what they are  going to think. If you’d like to know what you should do, these are the three ways to properly shoot your shot. 

These three ways are going to broken down by way of basketball terms. These three all have one big thing in common: confidence. Without confidence, you are merely an individual speaking to another human being. That’s not what we want, ladies and gentlemen. We want a relationship and to get that, we need the confidence. Once you find that confidence, you then move into assessing what kind of shot you’re about to take (sizing it up, if you will). 

  1. The lay up

The lay up is simple: you know that the other person is already attracted to you so it should be a piece of cake. Don’t blow it, buddy. If you know this person is already into you, keep it simple. You don’t need some elegant meal or huge bouquet of flowers to draw them to you. Romantic, yet not necessary in this situation. A simple Cane’s run with fun music on the way there will do the trick. The lay up falls under the K.I.S.S. method: Keep It Simple Stupid. 

  1. The three pointer 

This one is a bit tougher. These are the ones you’ve either been hanging out with for a while, or you see liking your Instagram pics. Rules of thumb, do not like a picture from 2017 for ANY reason. It’s not weird, it’s psychotic. This type of situation requires you to always follow your shot, grab the rebound for the put back. In non-sports terms, be persistent. Don’t allow anyone to keep you from trying again. These are the people you should be actively pursuing to be with long term. No one-time hookup; this is your future spouse you’re fighting for, dang it. 

  1. The full court heave 

Let’s be honest with ourselves, do you even have a chance? No, probably not. This is the time for all the trick plays and cheesy pick-up lines you can find. “You can’t spell menu without me n u, so what’s cookin’ good lookin’?” That’s always a conversation starter. Keep it quick and witty. That’s the only hope you have, buddy. Maybe ask them to fill out a survey for your team and when they agree to do it, send them a blank contact then hope and pray they agree to fill it out. Be over confident in yourself. Don’t lie, but also don’t tell the person about how you sometimes get scared of the dark when you’re alone. The full court heave is where you have everything to gain and nothing to lose. So go all out, leave it all on the field and in the end, you may come away with the upset of the century. 

Shooting your shot will never be easy; it takes confidence and the willingness to look like a complete fool in the end. You know, wise men say only fools rush in… but I can’t help myself from shooting that shot. The most important thing to remember before shooting your shot is this: in the wise words of Michael Scott, “you miss 100% of the shots you don’t take.”


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