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Can We Even Parent?

By Jocelyn Ayala
On April 4, 2018

Photo from: https://celebbabylaundry.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/10/parents-love.jpg

You’re pregnant!

Two words that can be music to someone’s ears, and yet double as some of the most nerve-racking phrases in the book.

When a woman is “of age,” it's more acceptable to be pregnant versus an adolescent, yet alone a teenager. We ask ourselves the ongoing question, “What is the right age to have a child?”  

Many young women receive so much criticism for getting pregnant before they have experienced life, marriage or accomplished what society thinks is a successful life, which in some ways proves your “womanhood.”

Celebrity Kylie Jenner, who is 19 years old, recently gave birth to her first child. If this situation was to occur to an “ordinary” person, society would assume that she was a reckless child or may even make out to look like her parents were careless for allowing her to commit such a “crime.”

But truthfully, what makes you a good mom or parent? Stability? Both emotional and financially? Do you believe that age has anything to do with the quality of your parenting?

When speaking with OU student Amanda Bazan, she discussed how there was no right or wrong time to have a baby.

“If you are suitable enough to take care of a child meaning financially, physically and emotionally, then I don’t see a reason as to why you would not be qualified as a good parent. People are not talking about Kylie J. because she has money; She has her own makeup line which has progressed and allowed her to own her own business and make a personal income for herself. Age has nothing to do with it,” Bazan said.

We as women are so hard on each other that we allow society to manipulate and change our ways of thinking. Something as simple as a comment like, “You haven’t even finished school yet!” can be very hurtful and steer your thought toward options of adoption, or even abortion at times.

As we drive this article the other direction, I went for a male's perspective on what he believed was the right age and what qualities make up a good parent.

J Hernandez, age 20, believed that a good age to have a child was around the age of 25. Hernandez said that in order to make a good parent, let alone a great father, you have to be there for every one of your child's needs.

Hernandez also said that as a parent you have to know how to make bottles and have the ability to teach life lessons as they grow. He stated that fathers have to be role models to their children, so that later on they could be one to their own.

“Having a child is a big responsibility, but I would never give away something so valuable that is mine, abortion would never be an option for me, if I had to raise the child on my own so be it, but it is never too late to start planning after the news,” he said.

Men and woman often don’t think alike. Both Bazan and Hernandez had similar perspectives and views on the qualities of a good parent but stated them in different ways.

After having many more debatable conversations, with other people (Amber T., Tiffany J. and Angel C.), we came to a conclusion that regardless if people want to set an invisible time clock on having a child or not, it does not always happen as planned.

Of course, there are ways to prevent unplanned parenthood, but it doesn’t always happen as expected. Our conversation led to a majority of us agreeing on the age for pregnancies fluctuate from teens to early 40s, and no matter the age everyone strives to be a good parent.  

Financial stability in your own times of need are what matter the most. Emotional and physical stability are a necessity when your child needs love and affection. You have to want to be an example for your child each and every day. Lastly, to be a good parent you have to be there to pick them up when they fall because life is full of obstacles that we constantly stumble over.

 

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