Photo by: Ashley Alonzo
We all know “that guy.” The one who comes into class at least half an hour late, and then spouts off some random excuse about how the universe is conspiring against him. And, if you don’t know one, it’s probably you. Below is a list of some (in)credible excuses to provide some variation to your usual repertoire:
1. I got lost
Simple and to the point. This excuse, while viable on the first day of class, is not one that should be used throughout the semester. Especially at OU, where the campus spans the length of maybe four blocks.
2. A shift in the atmosphere caused an increased rate of gravity over my bed. I couldn’t escape.
Maybe not the most believable, but could score you some points with your astronomy professor.
3. My roommate was in the shower.
This excuse, while providing relief that showering is, indeed, part of a college student’s routine, may not elicit quite the amount of sympathy necessary to absolve the issue.
4. A fire alarm went off, and I’ve been standing outside in the cold for the past two hours.
On this campus, this excuse may be a pretty good one. Fire alarms are an issue here, and the process can take quite a while. At the same time, be sure you have a few co-conspirators to back you up on your claims.
5. My electricity shut off, my phone was dead and I was out of gas.
Talk about the stars aligning. When using this excuse, be sure to make puppy-dog eyes and stick out your lower lip. It works wonders.
6. I had to park five blocks over and journey through hazardous weather conditions.
That’s dedication. The effect may be slightly reduced by the fact that much of the student body is comprised of athletes, and a quick walk down a couple of blocks is just a warm-up.
7. I stopped to pick up a hitchhiker. He turned out to be one of my favorite musical artists and volunteered to play me a personal concert.
Ten points for creativity with this one. Make sure you’ve selected a good artist, and, assuming your professor is also a fan, they’ll let you off the hook.
8. Those dollar margs, tho.
Accurate.
9. I accidently ran over a squirrel and had to perform an impromptu burial.
The squirrels on this campus are insane. And, because they are so friendly, it may not be completely unbelievable that you would form an attachment to one. You could even add another dimension to this excuse with a written eulogy.
10. The dining hall was out of chocolate milk.
Daily rituals are a thing. If someone’s routine interrupted, the entire day is thrown off balance. Also, they’re always running out of chocolate milk in the caf. This excuse is completely credible.
11. My motivation levels were so low, I could barely open my eyes, let alone drag myself to class.
Sometimes, the truth is the best option. In this case, the truth may even set you free. Free of a college degree after your professor fails you, that is.
Excuses. They’re everywhere. Because excuses are a normal part of life, and are basically expected at this point, you might as well get a little creative. Who knows, todays excuse could be tomorrow’s extra-credit — if you’re inventive enough.